Broken
by sheepeater
Summary: Renji finally remembers...and he hates himself for it. ; post-FTB


**Title**: Broken

**Category**: Bleach

**WordCount**: 562

**Characters/Pairings**: Renji-centric, mentions of Byakuya,Ichigo, and Rukia; one-sided RenRuki, implied IchiRuki

**Timeline/Spoilers**: post-FTB; spoiler-ish for FTB and Renji and Rukia's past.

**Summary**: Renji finally remembers... and he hates himself for it.

**Notes**: I came up with this immediately after watching the Bleach movie, Fade to Black, I Call Your Name. Inspirations was drawn from the below quote.

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_"Aren't you the closest person to her?"_

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Thinking back on what the substitute Shingami had said, Renji sighed. Aloud, he said wistfully to himself, "No, Ichigo. That title was forfeited to you a long time ago."

His words rang with truth. It had been, literally, decades since he'd considered himself 'the closest person to Rukia'. And he was sure she felt the same. He'd lost his chance with her her long ago.

(Was there ever a chance to speak of?)

Probably not. It was likely she only saw him as her annoying, red-headed childhood friend. He bet that she wasn't even aware that he harbored such feelings for her.

And everyone said he wore his heart on his sleeve...

(Eh, she always was a bit dense when it came to these kinds of things.)

He chuckled lightly at his own joke.

Not that there had been much time for emotions and all that 'lovey-dovey stuff' growing up in the second-worst district in Rukongai. Survival was the priority. Never knowing when their next meal would be or where they'd spend the night... They couldn't afford to be occupied with such idle matters in their world - in a world where it was eat or be eaten.

And for a while, it was the only world they knew... And then came the Spiritual Arts Academy.

_x_

Years after their first meeting, the group of makeshift bandits they'd once been was reduced to just the two of them. The others... hadn't made it. The only chance they had to make it out of that dump themselves was to become Shinigami. And that they did.

(That we did...)

And the rest is history — or at least that's what Renji wishes he could say about the whole ordeal.

The truth is, in those six short years, something changed between them.

They enrolled into the Academy a pair, and left virtual strangers.

That once so strong bond had been completely and utterly shattered... and one man alone was responsible: Kuchiki Byakuya, head of the renowned Kuchiki clan.

(At least that's how it felt at the time...)

But Renji knows that his Taichou was not the one at fault here, for who was it that pushed her towards the decision in the first place? Pushed her towards a 'better life'?

(Pushed her away?)

She was — and still is — the one most dear to his heart, so he of course did what was best for her.

(Or what I thought was best for her.)

He put on that fake smile and cheerful demeanor up until the last minute of her inauguration ceremony, (The only reason he was able to attend was because Rukia insisted. And no one wanted to offend the guest of honor...or earn disapproval from their soon-to-be master.) when she officially became a member of the Kuchiki clan.

(Not family, but _clan_.)

From that moment on, a permanent wedge was driven between them, and nothing could break it free. Through the years, it continued to dig deeper and deeper, almost splitting their formerly solid ground completely apart. Ironically, it was _his _coming that saved them.

That stupid strawberry unceremoniously arrived out of nowhere, and shaken the whole of Soul Society to its very core, sweeping — his — Rukia off her feet in the process.

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_owaranai_

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**A/N**: I started working on this little piece shortly after finishing FTB. I had it all planned out, save for the ending, but a serious case of writer's block - which, as most of you know, is no fun at all D: - prevented me from continuing. This story was just begging me to post it, so it kind of cuts off abruptly... To be honest, it feels unfinished, but I have no idea how to continue. TT_TT

Anyway, comments of any kind are greatly appreciated. Thanks for reading!

Sora(:


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